What's the difference betwee Elton John and Princess Diana?

One's composing, the other is decomposing.

A blonde was complaining to her friend about constantly being called a 
dumb blonde. Her friend tells her "go do something to prove them wrong! 
Why don't you learn all the state capitals or something?" The blonde 
thinks this is a great idea, and locks herself up for two weeks studying. 
The next party she goes to, some guy is making dumb blonde comments to 
her. She gets all indignant and claims, "I'm NOT a dumb blonde. In fact, I 
can name ALL the state capitals!" The guy doesn't believe her, so she 
dares him to test her. He says "Okay, what's the Capital of Montana?" The 
blonde tosses her hair in triumph and says, "That's easy! It's M!"

What did the normal baby say to the test tube baby?

Ha..ha... your dad's a jerk off!

A college couple is under a tree on campus making out. After a 
while, the girl says, "I wish you had a flashlight." 

He says, "Why's that?" 

She says, "Because you've been eating grass for fifteen 
minutes."

The success of the "Wonder Bra" for under-endowed women, has encouraged 
the designers to come out with a bra for
over-endowed women.

It's called the "Sheep Dog Bra"...
It rounds them up and points them in the right direction.