There are a lot of words you can use to describe men: strong, caring, loving.
They'd be wrong, but you could still use them. 

Guy goes to hell and is met by the devil, who explains that the 
punishments are changed every thousand years and he is to 
select his first punishment. 

First room has a young guy on the wall being whipped. The 
new guy not keen on this asks to see the next room. The next 
room has a middle aged guy being tortured with fire. 

The new guy immediately asks to see the third room. It has an 
really old guy chained to the wall getting a blow job from a 
gorgeous blonde. 

The guy jumps at the chance and takes the room. 

The devil walks into the room taps the blonde on the shoulder 
and says "okay, you can stop now.  You've been relieved". 

A blonde calls the fire department cause her house was on fire. They ask 
her how to get there and she says "Duh, big red truck?!."

A gent spots a nice looking gal in a bar goes up
and starts small talk. Seeing that she didn't back
off, he asked her name. "Carmen," she replied.
"That's a nice name," he said warming up the conversation,   
"Who named you,your mother?"
"No, I named myself, she answered.
"Oh, that's interesting, why Carmen?"
"Because I like cars, and I like men,"
she said looking directly into his eyes.
"What's your name?"
"Beerfuck."

Sent by Ron

A man goes to the doctor with a long history of migraine headaches.
When the doctor does his history and physical, he discovers that his
poor patient has had practically every therapy known to man for his
migraines and STILL no improvement.

"Listen," says the Doctor, "I have migraines, too and the advice I'm
going to give you isn't really anything I learned in medical school,
but it's advice that I've gotten from my own experience. When I have
a migraine, I go home, get in a nice hot bathtub, and soak for a
while. Then I have my wife sponge me off with the hottest water I can
stand, especially around the forehead. This helps a little. Then I
get out of the tub, take her into the bedroom, and even if my head is
killing me, I force myself to have sex with her. Almost always, the
headache is immediately gone. Now, give it a try, and come back and
see me in six weeks."

Six weeks later, the patient returns with a big grin. "Doc! I took
your advice and it works! It REALLY WORKS! I've had migraines for
17 years and this is the FIRST time anyone has ever helped me!"

"Well," says the physician, "I'm glad I could help."

"By the way, Doc," the patient adds, "you have a REALLY nice house."