It was about a month ago when a Dutchman in Amsterdam felt that he needed
to confess, so he went to his Priest. 
"Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. During WWll, I hid a Jewish man in 
my attic." 
"Well," answered the Priest, "That's no a sin." 
"But I made him pay me 20 gulden for each week he stayed." 
"I admit that wasn't good, but you did it for a good cause." 
"Oh thank you Father; that eases my mind. Father, I have one more 
question." 
"What is it son." 
"Do I have to tell him the war is over?"

While attending a spelling session in school one day,
The teacher asked if anyone could spell the word DUMB?
Darla raises her hand and says "I can, I can"
The teacher replies, "OK, go ahead Darla..."
Darla replies..."D-U-M-B"
The teacher replies, "very good", and "can you use that word in a sentence?"
Darla replies, "Sure, Buckwheat is very DUMB."
The teacher replies, "OK, well can anyone spell the word STUPID?"
Again, Darla raises her hand, and the teacher replies, "OK, go ahead Darla."
Darla replies, "S-T-U-P-I-D"
The teacher replies "very good", and "can you use that word in a sentence?"
Darla replies, "Sure, Buckwheat is very STUPID."
The teacher replies, "OK, well lets continue,  can anyone spell the word DICTATE?"
No one raises their hand, so the teacher asks Buckwheat if he can spell
the word DICTATE?
Buckwheat replies, "Sure,    D-I-C-T-A-T-E"
The teacher replies, "very good Buckwheat," and "can you use that word
in a sentence?"
Buckwheat replies, "Sure I can."     
"I may be DUMB and I may be STUPID, but Darla says my DICTATE good."

What is the first symptom of AIDs?

A hard, deep, pounding sensation in your ass. 

A guy was attending a masquerade Halloween Ball, and 
dancing with a girl who was wearing a map of Texas for a 
costume. 

Suddenly she slapped him hard and stalked off the dance floor.
"What the hell happened?" asked a friend who had witnessed 
the entire event.

"I'm not really sure." the man replied, rubbing his red cheek. 
"When she asked if I had ever been to Texas, I put my finger on 
Amarillo to show her, and she let me have it."

What do you call a blonde lesbian?

     A waste.