Are computers males or females? You decide.
   TOP 5 REASONS WHY COMPUTERS MUST BE MALE:
   5. They're heavily dependent on external tools and equipment.
   4. They periodically cut you off right when you think you've
   established a network connection.
   3. They'll usually do what you ask them to do, but they won't do more
   than they have to and they won't think of it on their own.
   2. They're typically obsolete within five years and need to be traded
   in for a new model. Some users, however, feel they've already invested
   so much in the damn machine that they're compelled to remain with an
   under powered system.
   1. They get hot when you turn them on, and that's the only time you
   have their attention.
   FIVE REASONS COMPUTERS MUST BE FEMALE:
   5. No one but their creator understands their logic.
   4. Even the smallest mistakes are immediately committed to memory for
   future reference.
   3. The native language used to communicate with other computers is
   incomprehensible to everyone else.
   2. The message, "Bad command or filename," is about as informative as
   "If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to
   tell you."
   1. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending
   half your paycheck on accessories for it.\

A woman went to the bar with a black eye.
"How'd ya get that?" asked the bartender.
"From my husband," she replied.
"But I thought he was out of town?" he asked.
"So did I!" she said.

A wife went in to see a therapist and said, "I've got a big problem 
doctor" Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out this 
earsplitting yell." "MY dear," the shrink said, "that's completely 
natural. I don't see what problem is?" "The problem is," she complained, 
"It wakes me up."

Why do Jews wear yarmulkes?
Because the little propellers cost extra!

In America the late night news used to broadcast this message:
"It's 11 o'clock do you know where your children are?
In England they say
"Its 11 o'clock do you know where your wife is?
In France they say "It's 11o'clock do you know where your husband is?"
In Poland they say Its 11 o'clock do you know what time it is?"