Lady Golfer

I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was 
unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several 
minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works 
at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at 
him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."

Long ago in Israel the wisest man, a great philopher and thinker, was 
holding audience. Everyone was there - the hall was packed out - 
politicians at the front, professionals, doctors, lawyers next, then 
businessmen, etc., with lesser beings further and further away. 

He intones his most famous and deepest saying: "Life is like a fish". 
Everyone murmers in obedient and respectful agreement "How wise", "What a 
thinker", "How true", "What a man". 

At the very back of hall, a callow, spotty youth - a freshman probably, 
sticks his hand up and asks "Why?". Absolute horror around the hall... 
They stare round enraged at him "How can he question the great man?", "Has 
he no sense at all?". They stare back anxiously at the great man - what 
will he do? He doesn't react, just sits there, pondering. The atmosphere 
is electric. After ten minutes of deep thought, the great man looks up, 
the audience expectant with bated breathe. He speaks. "Alright, so it's 
not like a fish".

"I am a Paramedic, recently I was called to 
a scene where a man in his late 60s had died and obviously 
been there a couple of days. We searched for any sign of 
trauma.... None. We looked for anything that might indicate a 
medical problem... heart meds etc..... None. The only medicine 
we found: Viagra. About that time the coroner arrived (a 
strikingly pretty gal) who asked me, "How long has he been 
dead?" I replied a couple of days, she said, "Oh so he is stiff 
then?" I handed her the Viagra bottle and said, "In more ways 
than one..."