[Associated Press,Kincaid, W. VA] A man at a
   party popped a blasting cap into his mouth and bit
   down, triggering an explosion that blew off his
   lips, teeth and tongue, state police said
   Wednesday. Jerry Stromyer, 24, of Kincaid, bit the
   blasting cap as a prank during a party late
   Tuesday night, said Cpl. M.D. Payne. "Another man
   had it in an aquarium, hooked to a battery, and
   was trying to explode it," Payne said. "It
   wouldn't go off and this guy said, "I'll show you
   how to set it off." "He put it in his mouth and
   bit down. It blew all his teeth off, his tongue
   and his lips," Payne said. Stromyer was listed in
   guarded condition Wednesday with extensive facial
   injuries, according to a spokesman at Charleston
   Area Medical Division. "I just can't imagine
   anyone doing something like that," Payne said.

Jenn says her husband worked with this guy at the high school.
The guy wanted to measure the wall and he asked Mike (my
husband) for some assistance.  Mike said, "why not use the 
yardstick over there?"  The guy looked at Mike and, very serious,
said, "I can't use that.  The wall is longer than the yardstick."

IDIOTS AT WORK

I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the
clerk noticed that I had never signed my name on the back of the
credit card.  She informed me that she could not complete the
transaction unless the card was signed.  When I asked why, she
explained that it was necessary to compare the signature on the
credit card with the signature I just signed on the receipt.
So I signed the credit card in front of her.  She carefully
compared the signature to the one I had just signed on the receipt.
As luck would have it, they matched.