I woke up a little early the other day 
and decided to go take a shower. 
My wife woke up and said rather lustily, 
"Honey, are you in a hurry to get to work?"  
"No, not really." 
"Then will you scub the shower before 
you get in it?" 

Sent by Michael

Lully is one of our favorite 16th-century composers, who wrote music for 
the king of France.

While rehearsing the musicians, he got too serious beating time with his
staff, and drove it right through his foot. He died of infection.

Modern parents believe toilet training should be an easy and
casual affair.  Just let the child s*%# all over everything.  This
prepares him or her for a brilliant career as a talk show host.
        It used to be thought that children should act like "little
adults".  Like many things that used to be thought, this is true.  In
fact, now more than ever.  Today's real adults are self-involved,
impulsive, inarticulate, and spend as much time as possible out
playing.  They can't sit still, don't like to get dressed up, and hate
every kind of activity that requires self-restraint.  Adults are the
children of today, and therefore children have to be adults because
there's only so much room in the world for kids.
        
             --P.J. O'Rouke