My wife and I had just finished tucking our five young ones into bed one
evening when we heard sobbing coming from three- year-old Billy's room.
Rushing to his side, we found him crying hysterically. He had accidentally
swallowed a penny and was sure he was going to die. No amount of talking
could change his mind.

Desperate to calm him, my wife palmed a penny that she happened to have
in her pocket and pretended to pull it from Billy's ear. Billy was
delighted. In a flash, he snatched it from my wife's hand, swallowed it
and demanded cheerfully, "Do it again, mum!"

According to a radio report, a middle school in Oregon was faced
with a unique problem. A number of girls were beginning to use
lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but
after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the
mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.

Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She
called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the
custodian.

She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major
problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every day. To
demonstrate how difficult it was to clean the mirrors, she asked the
custodian to clean one of the mirrors.

He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it into the toilet and
then cleaned the mirror.

Since then there have been no lip prints on the mirror.

It was the day before my eighteenth birthday. I was living at home, but my
parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my girlfriend over for a
romantic night alone. As we lay in bed after making love, we heard the
telephone ring downstairs. I suggested to my girlfriend that I give her a
nude piggyback ride to the phone. Since we didn't want to miss the call, we
didn't have time to get dressed. When we got to the bottom of the stairs, 
the lights suddenly came on and a whole crowd of people yelled, "SURPRISE!"
My entire family: aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins and all my friends
Were standing there. My girlfriend and I were frozen embarrassment for
What seemed like an eternity. Since then, no one in my family has planned
a surprise party again.