Recently I answered the phone and it was a sales person
from a long distance company. They asked for my late father
by name.
"I'm sorry," I answered, "but he's dead."
Their reply, "May I leave a number in case the situation
changes?" 

Heather works with a Russian gent who is trying to learn 
the idiomatic phrases of English.  At the end of the workday
another worker always comes in the office and asks if there's 
anything they can do for us before they leave.  A girl jokingly
said once, "Yeah, you can go to the bathroom for me."  The
next day, the Russian gent (trying to fit in) decided to answer
"can we do something for you before we leave?" and he said,
"Yes, take my dick to the bathroom."

Pythagorean theorem: 24 words.
The Lord's Prayer: 66 words.
Archimedes' Principle: 67 words.
The 10 Commandments: 179 words.
The Gettysburg address: 286 words.
The Declaration of Independence: 1,300 words.

The US Government regulations on the sale of cabbage: 26,911 words.