After a long, bumpy flight, our passengers were glad to finally 
land. They disembarked, and the other attendants and I checked 
for items left behind. 

In a seat pocket, I found a bag of home-made cookies with 
a note saying "Much love, Mom." Quickly, I gave the bag to our 
gate agent in hopes it would be reunited with its owner. 

In few minutes, this announcement came over the public-
address system in the concourse:  "Would the passenger who 
lost his cookies on Flight 502, please return to the gate?"

Warning label on 
Nytol (a sleep aid): "Warning: May cause drowsiness."

A lady walks in a computer store one day with a box of 5 1/2 inch disks,
says "I bought these disks and they seem to be defective."
"So", says the salesman, "what type of computer do you have?"
"An Apple," says she.
So fine, he says, and takes her over to a IIe...
"Oh, not this one," she said, "I own one of those!" And points to a Mac.
(at this point the salesman, as you do, saw where this was going, and
refused to believe it.)
"Well," says the salesman "these are 5 1/2 inch disks, they won't won't 
fit in one of those..."
"Oh, I made them fit." Says the woman.
Needless to say, she had taken a pair of scissors...