"As you requested, here is a schedule of all future unplanned network outages.
 I took the initiative to include a schedule of all future sick days, volcanic
 eruptions, earthquakes and hurricanes."
                        -- Dilbert

"The dreams in my spirit mirror the solitude of my
     dark solitude."

                                                   --Z. Hazel Ballantine, O My Poetry

Incest. A game the whole family can play.

ON ECONOMICS
   The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.

"I wandered into a place in San Antonio which had what looked like a magnum
 of tabasco sitting in front of the counter.

 Me: 'I want!  I want!  I want!  I want!'.
 Sales dude: 'It's not for sale'.
 Me: 'Bowel movement'[0].

 [0] Or words to that effect."

-- Peter Gutmann, alt.sysadmin.recovery