All that glitters has a high refractive index.

"There was an advert in the local paper last week placed by a local
 software firm.  They were looking for a sysadmin.  Requirements
 included "3 years experience" with windows '95."
                        -- Peter deFriesse, alt.sysadmin.recovery,
                                16 January, 1997

In the beginning the Universe was created... This made a lot of
       people angry and was widely regarded as a bad move. -- Douglas
       Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

Wendy Liebman:
I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog.

The nice thing about being senile is -- your always meeting new people.