Rich Cook - "Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot- proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning."
"My dad was always really protective of his tools...well, not THAT tool... O.K., so he was pretty protective of that one too, but I'm talking about the tools that you make stuff with...well, sure, I suppose he DID make _me_ with that particular one, but...OH NEVERMIND. My dad always told me that if some alien came around trying to borrow my phillips screwdriver that I should just stab him/her/it/them with it." -- Lt. Wilkes, my role model
Yeah, she's beautiful, but you can't find her IQ with a flashlight. --- from "The Greatest American Hero"
* One good turn gets most of the blankets.
Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country. -- Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, D.C.
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