Many of life's failures are people who did not realize
how close they were to success when they gave up. 

    - Thomas Edison 

"When will my raise be effective?"
"The same time you are."
                        -- Wally, Catbert (from Dilbert)

* Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather
       straps. -- Emo Phillips

* There was a man who said "I never knew what happiness was until I
       got married... and then it was too late!"

Herblock's Law: If it's good, they will stop making it.