Boot It
                                      
                          (to the tune of Beat It)
     
   
    You're processing some words when your keyboard goes dead,
    Ten pages in the buffer, should have gone to bed,
    The system just crashed, but don't lose your head,
    Just BOOT IT, just BOOT IT.

    Better think fast, better do what you can,
    Read the manual or call your system man,
    Don't want to fall behind in the race with Japan,
    So BOOT IT,

    Get the system manager to
    BOOT IT,     BOOT IT,
    Even though you'd rather shoot it.
    Don't be upset, it's only some glitch.
    All that you do is flip a little switch.
    BOOT IT,     BOOT IT,
    Get right down and restitute it.
    Don't get excited, all is not lost.
    CP/M, UNIX or MS/DOS
    Just BOOT IT, boot it, boot it, boot it...

    You gotta have your printout for the meeting at two,
    The system says your jobs at the head of the queue,
    Right then the thing dies but you know what to do,
    BOOT IT.

    You always get so worried when the system runs slow,
    And when it finally crashes, man you feel so low,
    But computers make mistakes (they're only human you know)
    So BOOT IT,

    Call the local guru to
    BOOT IT,     BOOT IT,
    Go ahead re-institute it.
    If you're not lucky, get the book off the shelf,
    But if you are, it'll do it itself.
    BOOT IT,     BOOT IT,
    Then go find the guy who screwed it!
    Operating systems are built to bounce back,
    Whether it's a Cray or a Radio Shack.

    BOOT IT!     BOOT IT!
  

               There once was a man named Mort 
               Whose dick was incredibly short 
                    He climbed into bed 
                    And his lady friend said, 
               "That's not a dick, it's a wart. 

Drink

I fell in love with a dry martini
But now she`s gone
And passed away...
Or rather, passed right through me.

After that, I drank some coffee
So momentarily
I found sobriety


She made me high
She gave me kicks
She made me ill
I was only six!

© 1989 Peter Hughes.

Sent by Pete Hughes

There was a young man of Adair 
               Who thought he would diddle a mare. 
                    He climbed up a ladder 
                    And jolly well had her, 
               With his backside a-wave in the air. 

There was a young man from Racine
Who was weaned at the age of eighteen.
He said, "I'll admit
There's no milk in the tit,
But think of the fun it has been."