There was a brave damsel of Brighton 
               Whom nothing could possibly frighten. 
                    She plunged in the sea 
                    And, with infinite glee, 
               Was fucked in the ass by a Triton

I knew a girl from St. Paul 
Who wore a newspaper dress to a ball. 
Someone set it on fire 
And burned here entire 
Front Page, Sporting Section and all. 

A golfer named Sandy MacFarr 
               Went to bed with a Hollywood star 
                    When he first saw her gash he 
                    Cried, "Quick, goot muh mashie! 
               Uh thunk uh c'n muk it in par." 

There was a young man from Darjeeling 
               Whose dong reached up to the ceiling. 
                    In the electric light socket 
                    He'd put it and rock it--- 
               Oh God! What a wonderful feeling! 

There was a young lady named Ames 
               Who would play at the jolliest games. 
                    She was great fun to lay 
                    For her rectum would play 
               Obbligatos, and call you bad names.