There was a young man of Manhasset 
               Whose life seemed excessively placid. 
                    One day, just for fun, 
                    He raped an old nun, 
               And filled up her crevice with acid. 

No matter how grouchy you're feeling,
You'll find the smile more or less healing.
It grows in a wreath
All around the front teeth -
Thus preserving the face from congealing.

There once was a fellow named Dave,
Who kept a dead whore in his cave, 
The smell was grotesque,
The pussy the best,
And look at the money he saved!

Sent by dave

A sempstress at Epping-on-Tyne 
            Used to peddle her tail down the line. 
                She first got a crown, 
                But her prices went down--- 
            Now she'll fit you for ten pence or nine. 

Someone in Winslow, Maine didn't like Mr. Wood:

In Memory of Beza Wood
Departed this life
Nov. 2, 1837
Aged 45 yrs.
Here lies one Wood
Enclosed in wood
One Wood
Within another.
The outer wood
Is very good:
We cannot praise
The other.