Lisped a limp-wristed cowboy named Fay, 
               "It's a hell of a place to be gay! 
                    I must, on these prairies, 
                    Due to a shortage of fairies, 
               With the deer and the antelope play!" 

There was a young lady from Slough 
            Who said that she didn't know how. 
                Then a young fellow caught her 
                And jolly well taught her; 
            She lodges in Pimlico now. 

There was a young fellow from Eno 
            Who said to his girl, "Now, old Beano, 
                Lift your skirt up in front, 
                And enlarge your old cunt, 
            For the size of this organ is keen-o." 

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Eyed the girls and had a ball,
Lots of whistles, even a catcall,
Thus... Humpty had a great fall!

Then came the cold winter breeze
and Humpty's arse began to freeze...
though winter's sure to be a dreary thing... 
Let's wish Humpty a bouncy spring!

Should a fellow discover some night 
               A girl's body in bed, it's all right. 
                    He should think it good luck, 
                    And accept the free fuck--- 
               He will bugger her too, if he's bright.