What food best describes a man? 

     Jerky 

   A drunk goes into a bar sits down and says hey hey bartender can we
   talk about politics
   The bartender says ģIF THERE IS ONE THING WE DON'T TALK ABOUT IN HERE
   IT'S POLITICSī. A little while later hey bartender can we talk about
   religon. Again the
   bartender says" IF THERE'S ONE THING WE DON'T TALK ABOUT IN HERE IT'S
   RELIGON". Then again we hear hey bartender can we talk about sex. The
   bartender says
   SURE. The drunk says good............fuck you!
   

Q. Why wasn't jesus born in the U.S.A ?
A. Because god couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

    At the Doctor's...
   -A young woman said to her doctor,
   "You have to help me, I hurt all over."
   "What do you mean?" said the doctor.
   -The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled,
   "Ow, that hurts."
   -Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled,
   "Ouch! That hurts, too."
   -Then she touched her right earlobe.
   "Ow, even THAT hurts."
   The doctor asked the woman, "Are you a natural blonde?"
   -"Why yes," she said.
   "I thought so," said the doctor. "You have a sprained finger."

A Ken and Barbie Joke: Why does Barbie never get pregnant?

Because Ken always comes in a box!