At the ripe old age of 77, grandpa had decided to marry a young girl of 20.
Grandpa's doctor tried to explain that at his age sex with a young girl
could be dangerous, even fatal. Grandpa, not the slightest bit perturbed
replied "Oh well, if she dies, I'll just get myself another one." 

Don was looking for a little "action."  He picked up a sweet young thang 
at the bar and took her back to his hotel room. 
Little did he know she was damn near a nymphomaniac. 
After six times, she was screaming for more.  After the *eighth* time, Don 
told her that he needed to slip out for a pack of cigarettes.
On the way out, he stopped in the men's room. He stood in front of the 
urinal, unzipped, and felt a moment of panic when he couldn't find his 
dick.  After a couple of minutes of "fishing around," he finally said, 
"Look, it's ok.  She's not here!"

A blonde got lost in her car in a snow storm. She remembered what her dad 
had once told her. "If you ever get stuck in a snow storm, wait for a snow 
plow and follow it".
Pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She 
followed the plow for about forty-five minutes.
Finally the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing.
She explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in the snow, 
to follow a plow.
The driver nodded and said, "Well, I'm done with Wal-Mart; now you can 
follow me over to K-Mart."

Q: Have you heard about Michael Jackson's New Book? 

A: It's called, "The In's and Out's of Child Rearing

A man leaned toward an attractive woman at a bar and told her, "Haven't I 
seen you somewhere before?"
"Yes," she replied in a loud voice, "I'm the receptionist at the V.D. 
clinic."