Mrs. Culpepper was almost in tears. "Oh Marie," she said to her maid, "I have reason to suspect that my husband is
having an affair with his secretary."

"I don't believe it for one minute !" Marie snapped."You're just saying that to make me jealous !!!" 

A funeral service is being held in a church for a woman 
who has just passed away.  At the end of the service, the 
pall-bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally 
bump into a wall, jarring the casket.  They hear a faint moan.
They open the casket and find that the woman is actually 
still alive.  She lives for ten more years and then dies.
A ceremony is again held at the same church and at the 
end of the ceremony, the pall bearers are again carrying out
the casket.  As they are walking, the husband cries out, 
"WATCH OUT FOR THAT WALL!"

Michael Jackson and the doctor are walking out
of the delivery room after his wife gives birth
to their son. Michael says, "How long before we
can have sex?"
The doctor says, "At least wait until he's walking."

Two men went to the desert for a vacation. They rented a camel and headed 
out. Five days later they came back but without the camel. The man who had 
rented them the camel was very upset and screamed, "Where is my camel?" 
They replied, "Well, we were riding along when we kept hearing people say, 
'Look at the two assholes on that camel!' So finally we got off to take a 
look and the damn camel ran away!" 

When the staff goes out after work, they talk about football or basketball.
When Middle management gets together, they talk about tennis or baseball.
Top management discusses golf.
Conclusion: The higher up you are in management, the smaller your balls are.