When a man takes off his pants in a hotel room,
what's the first thing to hang out?

The DO NOT DISTURB sign!

What is the last thing you usually hear before a 
                                         redneck dies?


                                         'Hey y'all... Watch this!' 

A salesman is talking to a farmer when he looks over and sees 
a rooster wearing pants, a shirt, and suspenders.  He says, 
"What the hell is that all about?"

The farmer says, "We had a fire in the chicken coop and all 
his feathers got  singed off, so the wife made him some 
clothes to keep him warm. There ain't nothing funnier than 
watching him try to hold down a hen with one foot and get his 
pants down with the other."

The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large 
supermarket and asked, "You know, I've lost my wife here 
in the supermarket.  Can you talk to me for a couple of 
minutes?"

"Why?"

"Because every time I talk to a a beautiful woman my wife
appears out of nowhere."

Q: Why do they say that eating yogurt and oysters
   will improve your sex life?
A: Because if you'll eat that stuff, you'll eat anything.