I was at my Aunt's house once and she is getting married so she asks my
cousin a question "Would you seat my guests at my wedding." My cousin
replied "How do I seat them.....alphabetical order?"

Sent by nukem

The other day, while I was seeing my shrink, he asked me what 
I looked for in a woman.

Naturally I replied, "Big tits."

He said, "No, I meant for a serious relationship."

So I said, "Oh, seriously big tits."

"No, no, no. I mean what do you look for in the one woman you 
want to spend the rest of your life with?"

He looked at me kind of worried as I just sat there on his couch 
laughing until my gut hurt. "Spend the rest of my life with one 
woman? No woman's tits are that big."

It is well documented that for every mile that you
jog, you add one minute to your life. This enables you
at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a
nursing home at $5000 per month.