The other night I was invited out for a night with "the boys."
I told my wife that I would be home by midnight...promise!
Well, the hours passed and the beer was going down way too easy.
At around 3 A.M., drunk as a skunk, I headed for home. Just as
I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and
cuckooed 3 times.

Quickly, I realized she'd probably wake up, so I cuckooed another
9 times. I was really proud of myself, having a quick witty
solution, even when smashed, to escape a possible conflict.
The next morning my wife asked me what time I got in, and I told
her 12 o'clock.  She didn't seem disturbed at all.  Whew!  Got
away with that one!

She then told me that we needed a new cuckoo clock.  When I asked
her why she said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times,
then said 'oh shit,' cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat,
cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then
farted.


Sent by Inna

While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release
some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her 
after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told 
her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished. 
To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as 
threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that
I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The silence was deafening 
after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were 
doing.
I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my
daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me
were screams of laughter.

Modern Travel: To promote airline safety, a proposed FAA rule
would require that every suitcase checked on a US flight be
on the same plane as its owner. "That means that even though
you want to fly to Orlando at 9am, you may end up on the 10pm
plane to Boise." (Jerry Perisho)

Major airlines oppose the plan. "They are even against a less
stringent rule that would require luggage and owners to be in the
same country."