Sign seen above a car engine reboring shop in western Sydney: 

"Unlimited Head Jobs!"

A World War II veteran came into a London clinic with a haemorrhoid 
problem. One painful pile would often hang down from the man's anus and 
he was in the habit of pushing it back up with an artillery shell. On 
this occasion, the shell got stuck. Doctors were going to remove it 
but the man told them the shell was still live. So the hospital called in 
the army bomb disposal squad, who built a lead box around the 
man's anus to defuse the shell before it could be removed. 

Our correspondent in Poland reports that Wojciech Jaruzelski,
Tadeusz Mazowiecki and Lech Walesa met in a summit conference,
and the only thing that they could agree on was that George
Bush has a funny name. 

From the SF Chronicle, Herb Caen's column