"A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke." 

Groucho Marx.

   Everybody pisses on the floor. Be a hero and shit on the ceiling.


  

"If infinite rednecks fired infinite shotguns at an infinite number of road
 signs, they'd eventually create all the great literary works of the world in
 braille."
                        -- Discordian Quote File

"Here lies... Walt Whitman.  Aaargh!  Damn you Walt Whitman! 
I... hate... you... Walt...freakin... Whitman, leaves of
grass my ass!" 

Homer Simpson 

"I never married because there was no need.
I have three pets at home which answer the same
purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls
every morning, a parrot which swears all
afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night." 

    - Marie Corelli