There was a young woman in Dee 
            Who stayed with each man she did see. 
                When it came to a test 
                She wished to be best, 
            And practice makes perfect, you see. 

Stuffing the turkey at Christmas
Reminded me of you
The melons in the market
The pears and peaches too
Cracking open Christmas nuts
Brought memories of your gentle touch
But all the while it hurt so much
'cos I'm still in love with you...


Copyright: D. Harvey 1998.

                                        There was a young lass from Ignatius 
                                        Who lived in a garret quite spacious. 
                                                      When she went to here auntie's 
                                                      She always wore panties, 
                                        But alone in her garret,---good gracious. 

There was a young lady from Munich 
            Who was had in a park by a eunuch. 
                In a moment of passion 
                He shot her a ration 
            From a squirt-gun concealed 'neath his tunic. 

There was a young lady of Joppa
            Who came a society cropper. 
                She went to Ostend 
                With a gentlemen friend--- 
            The rest of the story's improper.