There was a young man from Bangore 
               Who was tired and said to his whore, 
                    "If you'll only roll over 
                    I'll get my dog Rover, 
               And you can have six inches more." 

THE MORNING SONG....FOR NON-MORNING PEOPLE

I woke early one morning,
The earth lay cool and still.
When suddenly a tiny bird,
Perch on my window sill.

He sang a song so lovely,
So carefree and so gay.
That slowly all my troubles,
Began to slip away.

He sang of far off places,
Of laughter and of fun.
It seemed his very trilling,
Brought up the morning sun.

I stirred beneath the covers,
Crept slowly out of bed.
And gently lowered the window,
And crushed his fucking head.

Robert

"If the skirts got any shorter"
said the typist with a blush...
"There'd be two more lips to powder
and lots more hair to brush!"

A fair haired young damsel named Grace
Thought it very foolish to place
Her hand on your cock
When it turned hard as rock
For fear it would explode in her face. 

There once was a man of Belfast
Whose balls out of iron were cast.
He managed somehow
To bugger a sow,
Thus you get pig-iron, at last.