An agreeable girl named Miss Doves
Likes to jack off the young men she loves.
She will use her bare fist
If the fellows insist
But she really prefers to wear gloves.

                    Peter, first Duke of Orange
                            
                    Was limited to a miserable four-inch,
                            But technique in a keyhole
                            Developed his P-hole
                            
                    "Til at last it got caught in the door-hinge.
                            

A contortionist hailing from Lynch 
            Used to rent out his tool by the inch. 
                A foot cost a quid--- 
                He could and he did 
            Stretch it to three in a pinch. 

The National Anthem of Windows Nation



 In honor of the new Windows Flag above the corporate campus:

           OLE can you C, by the fonts of TrueType,
       What so proudly we mailed to our users upgrading?
  Whose class libs and tool bars, through the marketing hype,
    Four meg RAM cards they'd bought, final beta awaiting.
      And the testers declare, fix the bugs on the share,
        Codeview'd every byte of our way cool software.
         Oh, say does that user friendly icon yet wave
                   O'er the land of the GUI,
                 and the Windows of the brave.



                                   copyright (c) 1992, Bogus Music
                                   lyrics, deanb
                                   inspiration, stevesh

There was a sailor from Brighton 
               Who remarked to his girl, "You're a tight one." 
                    She replied, "Bless my soul, 
                    You're in the wrong hole! 
               There's plenty of room in the right one!"