There was an old harlot of Wick
                            
                    Who was sucking a coal-heaver's prick.
                            She said, "I don't mind
                            The coal dust and grime,
                            
                    But the smell of your balls makes me sick."
                            

I think that I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree.
Indeed, unless the billboards fall
I'll never see a tree at all.

   --Ogden Nash, "Verses from 1929 On"

There was a gay dog from Ontario 
            Who fancied himself a Lothario. 
                At a wench's glance 
                He'd snatch off his pants 
            And make for her Mons Venerio. 

               Winter is here with his grouch, 
               The time when you sneeze and slouch. 
                    You can't take your women 
                    Canoein' or swimmin', 
               But a lot can be done on a couch. 

Dr. Seuss's Technical Manual



 What If Dr. Seuss Did Technical Writing?

 Here's an easy game to play.
 Here's an easy thing to say:

 If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
 And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
 And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
 Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!

 If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
 And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
 And your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash,
 Then your situation's hopeless, and your system's gonna crash!

 You can't say this?
 What a shame sir!
 We'll find you
 Another game sir.

 If the label on the cable on the table at your house,
 Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
 But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,
 That's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,

 And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss
 So your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,
 Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
 'Cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!

 When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk,
 And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary risc,
 Then you have to flash your memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM.
 Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your mom!