There once was a lass from Kilbride,
who lost her vibrator inside,
she went to the doctor to see it
and so he decided to free it

He opened her up
and filled her with grease,
he pulled on the base
and out it did ease

Now she's got a husband,
the dildo is no use,
the only problem is for him,
her pussy feels too loose


Sent by Dan

There was a young man, name of Snyder, 
            Who took out a girl just to ride her. 
                She allowed him to feel 
                From her neck to her heel, 
            But never would let him inside her. 

Mary had a little lamb,
     Its fleece was slightly grey.
     It didn't have a father,
     Just some borrowed DNA.

     It sort of had a mother,
     Though the ovum was on loan.
     It was not so much a lambkin
     As a little lamby clone.

     And soon it had a fellow clone,
     And soon it had some more.
     It made the children laugh and sing,
     The teachers found it droll;
     There were too many lamby clones
     For Mary to control.

     No other could control the sheep
     Since their programs didn't vary,
     So the scientists resolved it all
     By simply cloning Mary.

     But now they feel quite sheepish,
     Those scientists unwary.
     One problem solved, but what to do
     With Mary, Mary, Mary?

A proper young person named Gissing 
            Announced he had given up kissing. 
                "I strike out at once 
                For something that counts, 
            And besides my girl's front teeth are missing." 

A lad from far-off Transvaal 
            Was lustful, but tactful withal. 
                He'd say, just for luck, 
                "Mam'selle, do you fuck?" 
            But he'd bow till he almost would crawl.