Two guys are susposed to meet at 4:30. Charley shows up at
4:30 and waits. Finally, at almost 5:00, Paul shows up and
Charley says, "Where have you been? You're a 1/2 hour late."
Paul replies, "Sorry, I had to go to the dentist. My dick's
been hurting bad."
Charley says, "If your dick's been hurting, why did you go
to the dentist?"
Paul answers, "Because I had a tooth stuck in it."

   Magician and Parrot
   A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience
   would be
   different each week, so the magician allowed himself to do the same
   tricks over and over
   again. There was only one problem: The captain's parrot saw the shows
   each week and
   began to understand how the magician did every trick. Once he
   understood he started
   shouting in the middle of the show: "Look, it's not the same hat"
   "Look, he is hiding the
   flowers under the table" "Hey, why are all the cards the Ace of Spades
   ?" The magician
   was furious but couldn't do anything; it was, after all, the captain's
   parrot.
   One day the ship had an accident and sank. The magician found himself
   on a piece of wood
   in the middle of the ocean with the parrot, of course. They stared at
   each other with hate,
   but did not utter a word. This went on for a day and another and
   another.
   After a week the parrot said: "OK, I give up. Where's the boat?"
   

There are three 3rd Grade girls, a blonde, a brunnett, and a red-head.
Q. Which one is the tallest?
A. The blonde -- she is 18 years old!

What do you get with a corduroy condom?

A groovy kind of love.

Q. What's O. J. Simpson's Internet address? 

A. Slash, slash, backslash, slash, slash, escape.