What is black and brown and looks good on a lawyer?


                                         A Doberman.

Helpful advice for travellers:
If you are going to get on a commercial flight, take a bomb with you.
BECAUSE:  What are the odds of TWO guys being on the SAME PLANE at the 
SAME TIME with a bomb?

What is the most insensitive part of a penis? 

    - The man 

Little Johnny goes into a pharmacy and asks the chemist for some rubbers.
The chemist puts a pack of rubbers on the counter. Johnny looks at the
rubbers and asks the chemist if he has any other kind. The chemist goes
into the back and brings out another pack. "Nah," says Johnny, "what else
do you have?" "Well," the chemist replies, "the only other kind that I
have are the ones with all the bumps and ridges on them. Do you know what
these will do to a woman?" Little Johnny says, "No... but they'll make a
goat jump about two feet off of the ground!"

One day, a Smartie and a Polo were having a drink in the pub.

Suddenly the pub door swings open and in walks a Humbug.

“Fuck me” shouts Polo, and immediately dives under the table.

“What the fuck are you doing that for?” says Smartie.

“That humbug always gives me a right good kicking whenever I see

him, so I’m hiding from him” says Polo.

“You should stand up to him” says Smartie. “He’ll respect you more

if you do”

Sure enough, the humbug walks over and gives the Polo a right slap.

“Fuck off you stripy wanker, or I’ll knock the fucking shit out of

you” says Polo.

“Hey, no problem man, can I buy you a drink” says Humbug.

“Told you so” says Smartie.

The next night Polo and Smartie are sitting in the pub again, when in

walks Humbug with his mate, Tune.

“Fuck me” shouts Polo again diving under the table.

“What the fuck are you doing that for again” says Smartie.

“I know you said stand up to bullies, but thats Tune” says Polo.

“So what?” says Smartie.

“He’s fucking menthol” says Polo.

sent by Steve Butler