An old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding
her hat on tight, so that it would not blow off in the wind.
A gentleman approached her and said: "Pardon me, madam. I do not
intend to be forward, but did you know that your dress is blowing
up in this high wind?"
"Yes, I know," said the lady, "I need both hands to hold onto this hat."
"But, madam, you must know that your privates are exposed!"
said the gentleman in earnest. The woman looked down,
then back up at the man and replied, "Sir, anything you see down there
is 85 years old. I just bought this hat yesterday!"

Ok, kids, here's the gross one...

Q: What's the difference between acne and a priest?
A: Acne usually comes on a boy's face AFTER he turns 13. 

My wife and I are into S & M

She Sleeps and I masturbate


Sent by Richard

A man complaining to a friend: "I had it all - money, a beautiful house,a 
big car, the love of a beautiful woman ...then ... pow! ... it was all 
gone!"
"What happened?" asked the friend.
"Ahhhh ... my wife found out ..." 

A blonde woman competed with a brunette and redheaded woman in the Breast 
Stroke division of an English Channel swim competition. The brunette came 
in first, the redhead second. The blonde woman finally reached shore 
completely exhausted. After being revived with blankets and coffee, she 
remarked:
"I don't want to complain, but I think those other two girls used their 
arms."