Once a couple were on vacation. The husband was lying on 
the beach facing downwards on his stomach & the wife was 
patting him on his butt. He happened to ask her what she 
was doing, she said "I`m playing the Tabla" He turned around 
& told her "Alright now you can start playing the flute".


Sent by Sowmya

Two priests are off to the showers late one night.
They undress and step in the showers before they
realize there is no soap. Father John says he has
some soap in his room and goes to get it, not
bothering to dress. He grabs two bars of soap in
his hands and heads back to the showers. He gets
halfway down the hall when he sees three nuns
heading his way. Having no place to hide, he
stands against the wall and freezes like he's a
statue.
The nuns stop and comment on how life-like he looks.
The first nun suddenly reaches out and pulls his
dick. Startled, he drops a bar of soap.
"Oh look," says the 2nd nun... "A soap dispenser."
To test her theory she also pulls his dick...and
sure enough he drops the last bar of soap. The
third nun then pulls, first once, then twice and
three times. Still nothing happens. So she tries
once more and to her delight she yells...
"Look, hand cream!"

Did you hear Lassie had a son with a Rottweiler?

It rips off your arm, then runs for help.

What does an elephant use as a vibrator? 

     An epilectic. 

Two Jewish businessmen meet in the street.
"Oy, Abraham, I'm sorry to hear about that fire at your warehouse". 
"Ssh!" hisses the other, "It's not till next week".