Charlie was playing with his little brother Mickey when the little 
boy asked whether he could fly like Superman.
"Sure you can, Mickey," Charlie said, "Just flap your arms
really *really* hard."  
So Mickey climbed up on the windowsill, started flapping like 
mad, jumped, then smashed into the ground six stories below.
Horrified, their mother came screaming into the room and 
said, "What the hell happened?!?"
Charlie said, "I was just teaching Mickey not to believe
everything someone tells him."

After a long pubcrawl those two guys discuss wether the moon is red or
green. Since they can't come to a conclusion they go searching a cop. 
Finally they find one and ask him: "Please, officcccer, could you tell us
if the moon is red or green?" 

The cop looks up and asks back: "The left or the right one?"
 

   In the middle of a forest, there was a hunter who was suddenly
   confronted by a huge, mean bear. In his fear, all attempts to shoot
   the bear were unsuccessful. Finally, he turned and ran as fast as he
   could.
   
   The hunter ran and ran and ran, until he ended up at the edge of a
   very steep cliff. His hopes were dim.
   
   Seeing no way out of his predicament, and with the bear closing in
   rather quickly, the hunter got down on his knees, opened his arms, and
   exclaimed, "Dear God! Please give this bear some religion!"
   
   The skies darkened and there was lightning in the air. Just a few feet
   short of the hunter, the bear came to an abrupt stop, and glanced
   around, somewhat confused.
   
   Suddenly, the bear looked up into the sky and said, "Thank you, God,
   for the food I'm about to receive...."
   

Why does a blonde girl always have a bruise around her belly button???


Cause blonde boys aren't that smart either.

The general went to the doctor for a physical. Before he began, the doctor 
asked him the standard questions -- age, height, weight, and then he asked 
when was the last time the general had sex.
'Oh,' he mused, 'It was 1945.'
'Isn't that a long time to go without sex?' the doctor asked.
'I don't think so. According to your clock it's only 21:13.'