Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an 
hour east of Bakersfield, blonde new to boating was having aproblem.
No matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't get her brand new 
22-ft Bayliner to perform.  It wouldn't get on a plane at all, and it 
was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power 
she applied.
After about an hour of trying to make it go, she putted over to a 
nearby marina. Maybe they could tell her what was wrong. A thorough 
topside check revealed everything was in perfect working order. The 
engine ran fine, the outdrive went up and down, the prop was the 
correct size and pitch.
So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath.
He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard. Under the boat, 
still strapped securely in place, was the trailer.

My friend Janet, who likes stealing food from me, one day became obsessed 
with my pack of Nerds (a candy).
I asked her, "Why do you keep on taking my Nerds?!"
She looked me in the eye and she said, "I like nerds."
And I was thinking, is that supposed to mean something!?

Sent by Christina

Ladies Night Out.

So ... the other day, three friends and I went to this 
"Ladies Night Club." One of the girls wanted to impress us, 
so she pulls out a $10 bill.  The "dancer" came over to us, 
and my friend licked the $10 and put it on his butt cheek.
         
Not to be outdone, my second friend pulls out a $20 bill.  
She calls the guy back over, licks the $20 bill and puts it 
on his other butt cheek.
         
Still attempting to impress the rest of us, my third friend 
pulls out a $50 bill.  She calls the guy back over again, 
licks the $50 bill and again puts it on one of his butt 
cheeks.
        
Now the attention is focused on me.  What could I do to top 
that?  I got out my wallet, thought for a minute ... and 
then the financial analyst in me took over.
        
I got out my ATM card, swiped it down the crack of his ass, 
grabbed the $80 bucks and went home.



Sent by Neicey