One of the funniest "most-embarrassing-moment" stories I've come upon in a
long time was about a lady who picked up several items at a discount store.
When she finally got up to the checker, she learned that one of her items 
had no price tag. Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the 
intercom and boomed out for all the store to hear, "PRICE CHECK ON 
LANETHIRTEEN, TAMPAX, SUPER SIZE." That was bad enough, but somebody at 
the rear of the store apparently misunderstood the word Tampax" for 
"THUMBTACKS." In a businesslike tone, a voice boomed back over the 
intercom. "DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMBOR THE KIND
YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER?"

A woman, worried about crime, started to carry a hand-gun. Five months 
after she'd begun carrying her gun she came out to her car in a dark 
parking lot and found it occupied by four men. She ordered them out. They 
refused to move; she pulled her gun. Instantly four doors popped open and 
her car's occupants fled into the night. Then, as she started to load her 
groceries into the car, she noticed her car (same make and model) parked 
three spots away. 

As an art teacher for an elementary school here in Jacksonville, Florida, 
one of my recent assignments for the children was to enter a contest that 
our new national football team, the Jacksonville Jaguars, was promoting.

The winning artwork gets placed on the back of the season tickets, so I 
encouraged the children to come up with a good logo and a colorful 
creation.

One innocent little girl was so enthused about her masterpiece she turned 
in to me. It had a picture of a mean looking jaguar that read, "You're 
messin' with the wrong pussy."