When George W. Bush was asked if he knew what Roe versus Wade was,
he said he thought it was the decision that General George Washington 
needed to make when he planned to cross the Delaware.

The re-release of George Lucas' "Star Wars" over the raked in millions.
"This came as a relief to Princess Leia who had fallen on hard times
and was considering becoming a spokeswoman for Weight Watchers and Ocean
Spray." (Joshua Sostrin)
Says Paul Ecker, "Teenagers all over the country are asking the same
question: Who's Mark Hamill?"
The film was enhanced with even more special effects. "In a related move,
Sweden will re-release Ingmar Bergman's films "enhanced with even more
gloom,'" (Michael Edens)

A massive cold front swept across the nation this week,
but it's not expected to affect the election.
Says Hamilton, "The Weather Channel said the five-day
forecast for Bob Dole is three days."