"Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to
   prison for three years, not Princeton."
   -Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking up again
   with promoter Don King

When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of
twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.

Catherine Zandonella

ON MODERNISM
   Q: How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Two.
   One to hold the giraffe and the other to fill the bathtub with
   brightly colored machine tools.

An accountant is someone who knows the cost
of everything and the value of nothing.