The bustard's a fortuitous fowl, 
               Who has but small reason to growl. 
                    He avoids illigitemacy 
                    By the simple expediency 
               Of the use of an alternate vowel. 

Should a fellow discover some night 
               A girl's body in bed, it's all right. 
                    He should think it good luck, 
                    And accept the free fuck--- 
               He will bugger her too, if he's bright. 

               There once was a man named MacBride 
               Who fell in a privy and died. 
                    He had a young brother, 
                    Who fell in another, 
               And now they're interred (in turd) side by side. 

Hit By A Bus     By Andy Christopfel

Late
God I'm late
For today...today I have a date
With my professor that is
Gotta go
Gotta run
Gotta hurry, no time for fun
shoot me
kill me
stab me with a knife
School is much more important than this 
precious little life
Whizzing past the students
Running blindly pass the campus sights
I take a step into the street and meet 
my creator's device
Call me an idiot
Call me a damn fool
I did not do it in the name of love,
Rather, in the name of school
Pick up the telephone and call that paramedic...
While you're at it, call my mommy too
But now it's too late,
And there's nothing that you can do
I can't even speak, scream, yell or cuss
Oh my God! Oh my God!
I've been HIT BY A BUS

Sent by andrew christopfel

Goodbye

Goodbye, you see its time for me to die
It’s really been fun living in hell
And I’m sure it’s beginning to tell;
People are already saying God bless,
Its time this weary head was put to rest.

What is as versatile as a University?
Where the social life is a necessity
And the girls are all after the looks
Rather than what you can do with the books
But does the intention ever justify the end.

Still there are good things with life
Shame they are all double edged knifes
For the weapon is not fit as a sword,
For all we do with vast sums, is hoard
Money it seems will drive us to death.

But what are our best days I am told
It is question that is not quite so bold
For it is something that we all hold the key
Before that is when we cease to see
School and childhood is the answer.

We choose to forget those days
As it was all just a dizzy haze
It is childish and stupid we are told
But it’s the most valuable that we hold
Reminding ourselves of what was in front.

People you see, always see behind
From figures to stats which seem to bind.
Important we feel they may be
But it’s more relaxing just to sip tea
And try to grasp what our future holds.

Goodbye, you see its time for me to die
For what I’ve said could all be a lie
But if that was true then why do I feel dread
As I near my final challenge in facing death
Does the intention ever justify the end.

Sent by Justin Parker