A certain young person of Ghent, 
Uncertain if lady or gent, 
Shows his organs at large 
For a small handling charge 
To assist him in paying the rent. 

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Eyed the girls and had a ball,
Lots of whistles, even a catcall,
Thus... Humpty had a great fall!

Then came the cold winter breeze
and Humpty's arse began to freeze...
though winter's sure to be a dreary thing... 
Let's wish Humpty a bouncy spring!

There once was a lady named Hix 
            Who was fond of sucking big pricks. 
                One fellow she took 
                Was a doctor named Snook, 
            Now he's in a hell of a fix. 

There was a young fellow of Strensall, 
                                        Whose prick was as sharp as a pencil. 
                                                      On the night of his wedding, 
                                                      It went through the bedding, 
                                        And shattered the chamber utensil. 

                    There was a young man named Sweeny
                            
                    Who spilt some gin on his weenie,
                            So just to be couth,
                            He added vermouth
                            
                    And slipped his girl a martini.