What does a woman of 40 have between her breasts that a woman of 20
doesn't?

A belly-button!

One day in school, the teacher wanted her kids to go through the
   alphabet and give a word that started with each letter. She started
   with 'A'.
   
   Dirty Ernie was waving his arm higher than all the other kids. She
   didn't want to call on him, because he was a pervert and always said
   bad things.
   
   She called on Betty instead. Betty stood up and said "Apple".
   
   "Very good, Betty! Next is the letter 'B' ." Again, Ernie was waving
   his arm as high as he could, but she picked Andy instead.
   
   "Butterfly."
   
   "Excellent, Andy! How about 'C' ." Ernie was almost having a seizure
   he was waving so hard. The teacher picked Billy, still afraid of what
   Ernie would say.
   
   "Caterpillar."
   
   "Great job, Billy!"
   
   She continued going through the alphabet, never calling on Ernie. When
   she got to 'R', Ernie was the only child waving his arm. She thought
   to herself and couldn't think of anything too bad that started with
   'R' so she said, "OK Ernie, give me a word that starts with 'R' ."
   
   Ernie stood up straight, smiled and yelled, "RATS!!!! BIG FUCKING RATS
   WITH COCKS THIS FUCKING LONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
   

Q: Did you hear about the new "morning after" pill for men?

A: It changes their blood type. 

What did the boy with a long tongue and big
lips say to his mom as he was masturbating? 

    "look Ma', no hands" 

After a long pubcrawl those two guys discuss wether the moon is red or
green. Since they can't come to a conclusion they go searching a cop. 
Finally they find one and ask him: "Please, officcccer, could you tell us
if the moon is red or green?" 

The cop looks up and asks back: "The left or the right one?"