Girlfriend Tech Support E-mail
     
   
I am currently running the latest version of GirlFriend and I've been
having some problems lately.  I've been running the same version of
DrinkingBuddies 1.0 forever as my primary application, and all the
GirlFriend releases I've tried have always conflicted with it.  I hear
that DrinkingBuddies won't crash if GirlFriend is run in background mode
and the sound is turned off.  But I'm embarrassed to say I can't find
the switch to turn the sound off.  I just run them separately, and it
works okay.

Girlfriend also seems to have a problem co-existing with my Fishing 97
program, often trying to abort Fishing 97 with some sort of timing
incompatibility. I probably should have stayed with GirlFriend 1.0, but
I thought I might see better performance from GirlFriend 2.0.  After
months of conflicts and other problems, I consulted a friend who has had
experience with GirlFriend 2.0.  He said I probably didn't have enough
cache to run GirlFriend 2.0, and eventually it would require a Token
Ring to run properly.  He was right - as soon as I purged my cache, it
uninstalled itself.

Shortly after that, I installed GirlFriend 3.0 beta.  All the bugs were
supposed to be gone, but the first time I used it, it gave me a virus
anyway. I had to clean out my whole system and shut down for a while.  I
very cautiously upgraded to GirlFriend 4.0. This time I used a SCSI
probe first and also installed a virus protection program.  It worked
okay for a while until I discovered that GirlFriend 1.0 was still in my
system.  I tried running GirlFriend 1.0 again with GirlFriend 4.0 still
installed, but GirlFriend 4.0 has a feature I didn't know about that
automatically senses the presence of any other version of GirlFriend and
communicates with it in some way, which results in the immediate removal
of both versions.

The version I have now works pretty well, but there are still some
problems. Like all versions of GirlFriend, it is written in some obscure
language I can't understand, much less reprogram.  Frankly I think there
is too much attention paid to the look and feel rather than the desired
functionality.  Also, to get the best connections with your hardware,
you usually have to use gold-plated contacts.  And I've never liked how
GirlFriend is totally "object-oriented."

A year ago, a friend of mine upgraded his version of GirlFriend to
GirlFriendPlus 1.0, which is a Terminate and Stay Resident version of
GirlFriend.  He discovered that GirlFriendPlus 1.0 expires within a year
if you don't upgrade to Fiancee 1.0.  So he did, but soon after that, he
had to upgrade to Wife 1.0 which he describes as a huge resource hog.
It has taken up all his space, so he can't load anything else.  One of
the primary reasons he decided to go with Wife 1.0 was because it came
bundled with FreeSexPlus.  Well, it turns out the resource allocation
module of Wife 1.0 sometimes prohibits access to FreeSexPlus,
particularly the new Plug-Ins he wanted to try.  On top of that, Wife
1.0 must be running on a well warmed-up system before he can do
anything.  Although he did not ask for it, Wife 1.0 came with
MotherInLaw which has an automatic pop-up feature he can't turn off.  I
told him to try installing Mistress 1.0, but he said he heard if you try
to run it without first uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete
MSMoney files before doing the uninstall itself.  Then Mistress 1.0
won't install anyway because of insufficient resources.

Any Ideas???
  

The Lone Ranger and Tonto had been riding down the trail
all day. When they had stopped to take a rest Tonto
placed his ear to the ground and listened. 
"Buffalo come," remarked Tonto. 
"How can you tell, Tonto?" asked the Lone Ranger. 
"Face sticky." 

There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men:

"don't" and "stop". 

An advantage of being with an older woman

If you act immature enough and hang around long enough, an older woman 
will just mistake you for another one of her children and let you live at 
her house rent-free. Older women can afford to support you.

A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same 
sleeping carriage of a train. After the initial embarrassment, they both 
manage to get to sleep; the woman on the top bunk, the man on the lower. 
In the middle of the night the woman leans over and says, "I'm sorry to 
bother you but I'm awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly 
pass me another blanket." 

The man leans out and, with a glint in his eye, says, "I've got a better 
idea... let's pretend we're married." 

"Why not?" giggles the woman. 

"Good," he replies.  "Get your own blanket."