If Sony made toasters...
Their Sony Toastman, which would be barely larger than
the single piece of bread it is meant to toast, can be
conveniently attached to your belt.

A blonde goes for a job interview in an office.
The interviewer decides to start with the basics.
'So, Miss, can you tell us your age, please?' 

The blonde counts carefully on her fingers for
about 30 seconds before replying, 'Ehhhh .. 22!' 

The interviewer tries another straightforward one
to break the ice. 'And can you tell us your height, 
please?' 

The young lady stands up and produces a measuring
tape from her handbag. She then traps one end
under her foot and extends the tape to the top of
her head. She checks the measurement and announces,
'Five foot two!' 

This isn't looking good so the interviewer goes for
the real basics. 'And uhh, just to confirm for our
records, your name please?' 

The blonde bobs her head from side to side for about
twenty seconds, mouthing something silently to herself,
before replying, 'Mandy!' 

The interviewer is completely baffled at this stage, so
he asks, 'Just out of curiosity, Miss. We can understand
your counting on your fingers to work out your age, and
the measuring tape for your height is obvious, but what
were you doing when we asked you your name?' 

'Ohh that!', replies the blonde, 'That's just me running
through 'Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you....'' 

This girl I know told me she was so horny her own tongue's starting to feel good in her mouth.

Did you hear about the new downhill racing skis the ski resorts are
selling this year?

They are called Lewin-skis.  They are for people who like to go down.

A man calls his wife and says to her, "Honey, I just got the chance of a
lifetime to go on a week-long fishing trip with my boss.  Could you pack
up my things so that they will be ready when I get home?" "Sure, honey," his
wife answers."Oh, and could you please pack my blue silk pyjamas?" "Sure,
honey," his wife answers again. The man comes home, picks up his things and
takes off for the week. He returns a week later, smiling.  His wife greets
him at the
front door. "So honey, how was your fishing trip?"
"It was great..." the husband answers. "But you forgot to pack my blue
silk pyjamas." "No I didn't," said his wife.  "They were in your tacklebox."