A lady who was known as Churchill's main rival in parliament was giving a 
speech. Churchill, with his usual enthusiasm for his rival, dozed off 
while the lady was speaking. She stopped her speech and awoke Sir Winston 
by yelling, "Mr. Churchill, must you sleep while I talk?" Churchill 
sleepily replied, "No, ma'am. I do so purely by choice."

A man in Johannesberg, South Africa, shot his 49-year-old
          friend in the face, seriously wounding him, while the two
          practiced shooting beer cans off each other's head.

Actual Police Accounts
The woman in question, a cute blonde as it happens, was pulled over for 
speeding by a California Highway Patrol motorcycle officer. When he walked 
up to her window and opened his ticket book she said: "I bet you're going 
to sell me a ticket to the Highway Patrolmen's Ball." He replied, "No, 
highway patrolmen don't have balls."
There followed a moment of silence while she smiled and he realized what 
he'd said. He then closed his book, got back on his motorcycle and left. 
She was laughing too hard to start her car for several minutes.