I was playing in a night club, and getting few requests and small tips. 
Towards the end of the night, a man walked up with a wad of bills in his 
hand and asked me to play a jazz chord. I played an Amaj7. 

He said, "No, no. A jazz chord." 

I did a little improvisational thing, but he didn't like that either. 

"No, no, no! A jazz chord. You know, 'A jazz chord, to say, ah love you.'" 

A daddy was listening to his child say his prayer "Dear Harold." At
this, dad interrupted and said, "Wait a minute, "How come you
called God 'Harold?'
The little boy looked up and said, "That's His name. You know,
"Our Father, who art in Heaven, Harold be Thy name."

An Issaquah, Wash., man apparently became frustrated
with his personal computer, pulled out a gun and shot
it. The computer, located in the man's home office,
had four bullets holes in its hard drive and one in the
monitor. Police evacuated the man's townhouse complex,
contacted the irate PC owner by phone, and persuaded him
to come out. "We don't know if it wouldn't boot up or what,"
says one of the police officers at the scene. 

    St. Petersburg Times - July 20, 1997