"...My husband and I are getting a divorce because of 
religious differences. I'm Methodist and he's Satan."

Something only recently discovered:

Due to an anticipated voter turnout much larger than
originally expected, the polling facilities may not
be able to handle the load all at once. 

Therefore, Republicans are requested to vote on
Wednesday, November 8, and Democrats and Independents
on Tuesday, November 7. Please pass this message
along and help us to make sure that nobody gets left out. 

2000 Presidential Election Commission

Mum and Dad went to the Restaurant,Dad was about halfway 
finishing his meal but he had a hard look at the potato.
He calls the waitress and says this potato is bad.
The waitress picks it up an smacks it an puts it back on
the plate and says "If that potato causes any more trouble
just let me know".

Sent by Lindsey