John Pernicky and friend Sal Hawkins, of the great
   state of Washington, decided to attend a local
   Metallica concert at the Amphitheater at George,
   Washington. Having no tickets (but 18 beers among
   them) they sat in the parking lot, and after
   finishing the beer, decided that it would be easy
   enough to hop over the nine-foot high fence and
   sneak into the show. The two friends pulled their
   pickup truck over to the fence and the plan was
   for John--100 pounds heavier than Sal-to hop over,
   and then assist his friend over the fence.
   Unfortunately for John, there was a 30 foot drop
   on the other side of the fence. Having heaved
   himself over, he found himself crashing through a
   tree. His fall was abruptly halted by a large
   branch which snagged him by his shorts. Dangling
   from the tree, with one arm broken, John looked
   down and saw a group of bushes below him. Figuring
   the bushes would break his fall, John removed his
   pocket knife and proceeded to cut away his shorts
   to free himself from the tree. When finally free,
   John crashed below into Holly bushes. The sharp
   leaves scratched his entire body and now being
   without his shorts, he was the unwilling victim
   of a holly branch penetrating his rectal cavity.
   To make matters worse, his pocket knife proceeded
   to fall with him and landed three inches into his
   left thigh. Seeing his friend in considerable pain
   and agony, Sal decided to throw him a rope and pull
   him to safety. However, weighing about 100 pounds
   less, he decided the best course of action would
   be to tie the rope to the pickup truck. This is
   when things went from bad to worse. In his drunken
   state, Sal put the truck into the wrong
   gear,pressed on the gas, and crashed through the
   fence, landing on and killing his friend. Sal was
   thrown from the truck, suffered massive internal
   injuries and also died at the scene. Police
   arrived to find a pickup truck with its driver
   thrown 100 feet from the vehicle and upon moving
   the truck, a half naked man, with numerous
   scratches, a holly stick up his rectum, a knife in
   his thigh, and a pair of shorts dangling from the
   tree branches 25 feet in the air.

SIGN AT DENNY'S RESTAURANT:

        "Denny's is pleased to welcome persons of every ethnicity.
        Our booths are now color-coded by race so that our valued
        Black and Mexican patrons will know where to sit."

                             $250 Cookie Recipe
     
   
This message is sent to you with the hope you will forward it to EVERYONE
you have ever even seen the e-mail address of.   In the spirit of the
originator, please feel free to post it anywhere and everywhere.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

     Okay, everyone... a true story of justice in the good old U.S. of A.
Thought y'all might enjoy this; if nothing else, it shows internet
justice, if it can be called that.

     My daughter & I had just finished a salad at Neiman-Marcus Cafe in
Dallas & decided to have a small dessert.   Because our family are such
cookie lovers, we decided to try the "Neiman-Marcus Cookie".   It was so
excellent that I asked if they would give me the recipe and they said with a
small frown, "I'm afraid not."   Well, I said, would you let me buy the
recipe?  With a cute smile, she said, "Yes."   I asked how much, and she
responded, "Two fifty."  I said with approval, just add it to my tab.
Thirty days later, I received my VISA statement from Neiman-Marcus and it
was $285.00.  I looked again and I remembered I had only spent $9.95 for
two salads and about $20.00 for a scarf.  As I glanced at the bottom of the
statement, it said, "Cookie Recipe - $250.00."   Boy, was I upset!!   I
called Neiman's Accounting Dept. and told them the waitress said it was
"two fifty," and I did not realize she meant $250.00 for a cookie recipe.
I asked them to take back the recipe and reduce my bill, and they said
they were sorry, but because all the recipes were this expensive so not
just everyone could duplicate any of our bakery recipes....the bill would
stand.

     I waited, thinking of how I could get even or even try and get any of
my money back.

     I just said, "Okay, you folks got my $250.00 and now I'm going to have
250.00 worth of fun."  I told her that I was going to see to it that every
cookie lover will have a $250.00 cookie recipe from Neiman-Marcus for
nothing.  She replied, "I wish you wouldn't do this."  I said, "I'm sorry
but this is the only way I feel I could get even," and I will.

     So, here it is, and please pass it to someone else or run a few
copies....I paid for it; now you can have it for free.

                         (Recipe may be halved.):
           2  cups butter                     4  cups flower
           2  tsp. soda                        2  cups sugar
           5  cups blended oatmeal**         24 oz. chocolate chips
           2  cups brown sugar                1  tsp. salt
           1  8 oz. Hershey Bar (grated)      4  eggs
           2  tsp. baking powder          3 cups chopped nuts (your choice)
           2  tsp. vanilla

             ** measure oatmeal and blend in a blender to a fine powder.
              Cream the butter and both sugars.  Add eggs and vanilla;
              mix together with flour, oatmeal, salt, baking powder, and
              soda.  Add chocolate chips, Hershey Bar and nuts.  Roll into
              balls and place two inches apart on a cookie sheet.  Bake
              for 10 minutes at 375 degrees.  Makes 112 cookies.

             Have fun!!!  This is not a joke --- this is a true story.