Time's fun when you're having flies. 

    - Kermit the Frog 

There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men 
   don't think there's a lot they don't know.  Women do.  Women
   want to learn. Men think, "I know what I'm doing, just show 
   me somebody naked."
   -Jerry Seinfield

"In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man;
   if you want anything done, ask a woman."
   --- Margaret Thatcher

Money is a powerful aphrodisiac. But flowers work almost as well.

    - Lazarus Long

I saw a bank that said "24 Hour Banking", but I don't have that much time.